When Adult Children Make The Decisions

By: Richard McWhorter, Sr Retirement Mortgage Advisor

Sometimes the person sitting across the table isn’t the one you need to win over. In many 62+ real estate transactions, the real decision-maker is quietly sitting in the background… or showing up later with a list of questions.

We’re talking about the adult children.

• They’re not paying for the home.
• They’re not signing the loan.
• But they can absolutely stop a transaction cold with a single question: “Are you sure this is the right move, Mom?”

That’s not a hurdle – that’s an opportunity.

Adult Children: Guardians of the Big Picture

Adult kids often hold tremendous emotional and financial influence over their parents’ decisions, especially as they age. They’re the protectors of long-term outcomes… the ones who’ll eventually step in if something goes sideways.

Their concerns aren’t just about the house. They’re about the bigger picture:

• Will this move create more stress or more comfort?
• How can we get her closer to us… without draining her savings?
• What happens when stairs become an issue, or driving?
• Can help her set up a line of credit for emergency purposes?

They’re not being difficult. They’re being responsible.

And that’s exactly why the right kind of Realtor makes such an impact.

The Best Agents Welcome These Conversations

Let’s be real – you don’t have to be a financial planner or family therapist. But if you’re the one who anticipates the adult child’s influence, you instantly become more credible.

Because you’re not just selling a house, you’re helping a family make a sustainable, strategic decision.

That’s Where HECM for Purchase (Home Equity Conversion Mortgage) Comes In.

to a better home, no monthly mortgage payments and more options.

HECM for Purchase allows qualified buyers aged 62 and older to:

✅  Purchase a new primary residence
✅  With ~60–70% down (depending on age)
✅  And no required monthly mortgage payments for life*

*Borrowers still own the home, remain on deed and continue to be responsible for taxes, insurance, and upkeep.

To many adult children, that’s not just a relief – it’s a revelation. It means Mom or Dad can:

• Move to a safer, more accessible home
• Relocate closer to family
• Keep retirement accounts intact
• Avoid the stress of fixed monthly expenses in their later years

Suddenly, the kids don’t see a problem.  They see a plan.

Real Example: Move Up, Not Down… Move Closer, Not Farther

Too often, retirees assume they have to “settle.” They plan to pay cash using the proceeds from their current home sale… thinking it’s the only way to avoid future debt.

But what if they could use a reverse mortgage instead?

• Buy a better home (single level, newer, or in a better neighborhood)
• Stay financially secure
• Live independently longer
• Preserve assets for future needs (or eventual inheritance)

That’s when the conversation shifts. It’s no longer about convincing anyone, it’s about giving everyone peace of mind.

How Realtors Can Facilitate These Decisions

• Acknowledge the family dynamic early. Ask if the kids are involved or likely to weigh in.
• Offer to include them in the conversation. A short Zoom call or shared info packet builds instant trust.
• Let your reverse mortgage expert handle the technical stuff. You’re the relationship builder. We’re the strategists.

When you do this well, something powerful happens: You don’t just win the deal – you win the room. And that leads to more referrals, more repeat business, and a deeper reputation in your community as someone who doesn’t just sell… you serve.

Want to Solve Challenges in the Next Family Meeting?

I’ve helped dozens of agents navigate tough-but-loving questions from adult kids.

You don’t have to wing it. I’ve got simple language, clear answers, and I’m happy to join the call or provide a one-pager to forward along.

The adult kids aren’t your obstacle, they’re your path forward. Let’s give them something to feel good about.

Bottom Line? Some families are surprised to learn that by using a HECM for Purchase, Mom or Dad can move up, not down… and closer, not farther… without monthly mortgage payments or draining their retirement funds. It’s a smart strategy that earns the kids’ confidence, and often, their gratitude.

 

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Let’s Have a No-Pressure Conversation

At Ridge Reverse, we’re not here to “sell” anything. We’re here to help you and your clients understand options. We work with homeowners, their families, financial advisors, attorneys, and real estate professionals provide real-world clarity – not fluff.

If you’re curious how a reverse mortgage could extend your savings and reduce financial pressure, let’s talk. A short, friendly conversation could open the door to years of breathing room.

Next Steps?

Simply reach out to us at Ridge Reverse, powered by Amerifund, and let’s discuss how we can help you with a product designed specifically to meet your needs for a lifetime of happiness… while enhancing long term cashflow and quality of life. Feel free to call, text (mobile anytime: 404-313-9785, office: 863-456-7810), or email richard.mcwhorter@ridgereverse.com and find out more.

Ridge Reverse, provides an Equal Housing Opportunity. Information is subject to change without notice. This is not an offer for extension of credit or a commitment to secure a loan. Some restrictions may apply. This material is not from HUD or FHA and has not been approved by HUD or any government agency.

Richard W. McWhorter, NMLS 1618644, as an independent reverse mortgage specialist can assist in your reverse mortgage needs in most states. Follow him on LinkedIn, Reddit, the Ridge Reverse website or contact him directly at Richard.McWhorter@ridgereverse.com.